Pouring random thoughts.. yet, its very personal.

Shit happen.
Tragedies,
also happen.

But what happen if your loved ones are the one who are going through that difficult moment?
What can you do to help them?
If all I have to do is just be there and do nothing, then I'm one useless person. A complete bullshit.
I cannot seem to tell someone everything. I cannot seem to find someone who will listen and just give me comfort.

The proverb saying curiosity killed the cat is probably right, but it feels more like it killed my soul. At least it breaks my heart slowly into pieces.

You can't always protect those who you love and care deeply. But you can totally punch or yell at the person who hurt them.
Yeah, you totally can.

Why is there such thing as pain, anyway?
This is totally one of the reason why I hate caring. It rips your soul apart. It breaks you.
I used to believe, well I still do believe that to feel empathy and compassion is necessary. But I don't want to feel so much about everything. I can be the person for you to turn to. To talk about your problems, and I will just gonna be there and listen to you and maybe give you advice if you need it and give you comfort. I don't mind being that kind of person for you but I need that kind of person as well.

Why is it so hard for me to trust someone?
Why?
I hate myself for feeling too much about everything.
I wish I could crawl out of my skin or take out all of the sorrow that I feel.
I wish I have the strength to overcome this. To be able to feel everything without feeling overwhelmed. But its just a lot to take in.

Let me be sad for awhile..
I think I need to stay in the dark for a bit.
I guess, I finally fall apart.