Do you know what's the worst thing from one night stand?
The worst thing from one night stand isn't realising that you like or have some kind of feelings towards the person you're doing it with, but it is realising that you're lonely as fuck.
My thoughts scares me too often that it feels as if I'd never stop wishing that it would stop for just a minute. Why on the bloody Earth do I have to question about everything and doubt everything?
Sometimes I wish I could just say: "this. this is good enough," more often and just be happy about what I had and have instead of doubting and keep on looking for that something that I lack in life (READ: love, romantic kind). But relationships are messy, too many people will get hurt and sometimes all you want is a one night stand. BUT THEN YOU REALISED, that you're lonely as fuck and all you want and need is for someone to give you the attention you deserve and for you to get that sweet affection you hadn't had for a long time. Yet at the same time, you don't really want to give the same kind of attention to anyone. For some reason, you know you can't, even though you want to. And for some other reason, you don't want anything to do with love because you know you just couldn't handle anymore ambushed to the heart.
God, I just need something good to happen. Something that last a lot longer than the one you usually give.