Tuesday, March 31, 2015


You've made mistakes.
That's what most people do anyway.

But the question will probably, how are you supposed to feel after?
Should you feel ashamed?
Should you fall down?
Should you say sorry?
Should you ruminate in misery?

But if someone keeps reminding you that you've made a mistake and keep saying how stupid you are for making that mistake in the first place, how do you think that would makes you feel? 
Unpleasant, right? Especially, when you're already drowning in guilt and keep on saying how sorry you are. 

I'm just saying, just because you can blame everything on someone, doesn't mean that you should do it all the time. Because sometimes its also your fault and next time, if you wanna get something done and right, maybe try doing it yourself. 

And just because you can be an ass doesn't mean that you should. You keep on wondering why there is no light where you are standing, when you're the one that created the darkness and you drag everyone to stand under the rain instead of the sun so you won't be alone and so they'll feel how you're feeling. So yeah, trying to understand someone when they keep on making you feel like crap isn't fucking easy. Since I'm trying to get rid of such negativity, I don't need that kind of negativity in life, I have enough of that inside.

Sunday, March 8, 2015


How do you know when you're being rational and when you're being irrational?
How do you know you're being selfish?

Anger is, my worst enemy. So scared of facing the bloody malignant "creature" I get mad towards those who are. Especially those who are towards me.
Or do I just don't want to get the blame for what I did?
Isn't "sorry" enough?
Isn't doing or giving more after saying sorry should be enough?
Isn't being sincere enough?

Can I be completely alone and have a breakdown once more?
Can I be completely alone and have shots of tequila once more?
Can I be completely alone and have a good cry once more?
Can I be completely alone and have the room for myself once more?

Monday, March 2, 2015


There's an army of unsolicited pain,
There's an army of unsolicited scars,
There's also an army of unsolicited darkness,
They come barging in,
And then there's an ambushed to the heart.

There is a place behind that dusk,
There is a place behind that tree,
There is a place behind that old house,
A place where weary love didn't exist.

There would be time when his voice soothes your aching body,
There would be time when his hands will trace your body like its a goddamn universe,
There would be time when his sweet words leads your heart and mind back home, 
There would be time when his love made you shiver.

But you're a lost stars,
But you're a falling leave,
But you're a broken bones.

The light went out,
And there is nobody,
Nobody's coming,
No one's going to love the hell out of you,
No one's going to kiss you underneath the flickering porch lights.

No one's coming,
And I don't know which one is scarier,
Knowing that you're alone,
Or knowing that you're scared of love,
Of loving,
Of being in love,
Of being loved.

– C.L.