Living abroad

When you live abroad, there are reasons why you chose to move; its either for education reason, or it might be because you want to escape or find a new or different atmosphere. 

But when you finally did it, all you feel is excitement and fear. And probably sadness. Well the sad part is very obvious, because when you live abroad, you probably have to leave your family and your best friends. But the fear part is that you might be afraid if you can't find friends there etc. But you also soothed by the idea of having a new atmosphere. You feel excited because in your new home, no one knows you, and you can be whoever you want. You totally have a clean slate, and some people find this very comforting. 

If you live or wanting to live abroad, this might happen to you or crossed your mind at some point:

You started thinking, its been ages since you stayed in your hometown for more than two months, life has gone without you. One day, you simply look back and realize that so much has happened in your absence, that so much has changed. Everybody is already getting used to it living without you. 

And at some point you also might think and felt like you get left behind, but have you ever think that you're the one leaving everyone behind? 

Positive or negative; its all depends on you how you want to see it. 

Cynthia Clara, 

xxx

Soldier On

So my friend tiba2 sent me a bunch of links of blogs, berisi dengan poetry. There are so many poets that I like but this is totally my favourite.

"I'm used to
shattering,
but I'm pretty sure
that at some point
soldiers got used
to the war.

I become an expert
at putting pieces
back together,
but I'm pretty sure
that soldiers
became experts
at wrapping wounds.

You get used to pain,
you get used to routine,
sometimes you get used
to breaking yourself
into pieces so small
that you seem to cease
to exist.

Soldiers get used
to aiming shots,
they get used
to hiding in trenches,
to sleeping in tents
to living without
their loved ones.

There is a difference
between getting used to
and enjoying,
between getting used to
and what is right,
between being numb
and getting used to."

Soldier On.
Julia Pollacco

Cynthia Clara,

xxx

The Poetry Revolutionary - Soldier On

Things That I Think Are Interesting (And I Thought You Should Know It As Well).

First, I just want to tell you guys that I'm going to start re-posting some of the posts from Thought Catalog and maybe from another website, where I think its a really good post or kinda interesting. So here is the first one:

These came from different posts, and which I think is just sooo true or its happening a lot nowadays.

1. Being upset about something that warrants an emotional response. You don't have to apologize for something or acting out on it if its real to you. The people who judge your for being a human being, and not being ultimately demure and emotionless and in your place, are the ones who need to apologize.
2. Moving for a relationship if one if invested and ready... or just putting a relationship first if its a healthy and happy thing or something you want/need to work on. There's a big difference between being dismissive and walked on and stepping up and taking part as an equal in a relationship, a role that usually requires compromising and effort.
3. For those girls, who wore too much makeup, this is for you: more makeup doesn't mean more beautiful. More makeup means you look like you put more makeup on. It's not to say that I think girls should only wear a certain amount of makeup, it's just to say that there are some girls who will not leave the house without a full face of foundation, concealer, contouring and a smokey eye and I think it kind of wanes on their quality of life. Even though its your face and you can do whatever the hell you want, but I mean come on. 
4. You should never be at the whim of your partner's will because you are a woman, and if you are, it's your duty to stand up for yourself and other women until we live in a culture where that isn't an issue
5. You never have to be ashamed of what you look like. People will always have their opinions, so its up to you whether or not you want to listen to them, and act on them. Most often, the only person who is telling you that you look awful is yourself. People who love you won't care about that kind of stuff.
6. Nobody is looking to date a girl who doesn't respect herself. So yes, you girls, please do have some respect of yourself, especially of your body.
7. If you want to impress someone, talk about something of substance. People will be taken by you for displaying who you are by your words and actions more than how you present yourself aesthetically
8. The absolute most attractive thing a girl can do and be is confident.
9. Your sexuality is yours, and yours alone, and you are in charge of it, and if that is violated, you are not at fault. At the same time, you are entitled to express yourself healthfully in that way, and you don't have to make excuses for it, nor do you have to hide or be embarrassed of it.
10. One of the hardest things to do is to look our demons straight in the face and admit their existence to ourselves. Stand in front of the mirror, by yourself, and tell yourself what you are afraid of, what you regret, what you're ashamed of. It might be unpleasant and somewhat terrifying because when we say things out loud, they become real. (You might also feel ridiculous and think all the same that you regret/afraid/ashamed of are ridiculous, 'cause I do) But this is a good thing, because once you've identified your inner turmoil, you can begin to alleviate it. We cannot fight off phantoms. Make them real, and then kick their ass.
11. Our comfort zone is pleasant, but it doesn't challenge us; it doesn't make us grow or learn or improve. It doesn't make us strong. Since this is a new year, why don't we make a new experience that will impact us the most and stuck with us the longest by forcing ourself to do things outside our comfort zone? (I'll try anyway! ;p)
12. This is far the one that I really like, 'cause I never like doing it myself; when you hold a grudge, you're the one carrying that weight. Let anger thaw.
13. Accept the process of distinguishing between your flaws and your imperfection. Figure out what areas of your life you need and want to work on, and which shortcomings are as much an inherent part of you as your best qualities. It is fruitless and disheartening to attempt to change the latter, while working on the first is gratifying both in process and outcome.
14. Make improvement less daunting. If you see a goal you wish to achieve on the horizon, set benchmarks for yourself. Achievement and improvement is not all or nothing - It is a growth process, and likely one that will at times be tiring and seemingly impossible. You can do a lot to combat the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy if you yourself reasonable, smaller goals to reach along the way. Even the grandest plans require small steps. Love the journey - you'll end up gaining so much more than just the satisfaction of reaching your ultimate goal.

These will be the things everyone should stop dismissing:

• Mental illness as "crazy." This is probably the worst thing you can do to somebody who's having a battle from within. Logically we'd see the issue, assess it and try to make it better - not glare at it, shake your head and call it names.

It can be disappointing to see how often society sums up a person's struggle with mental disorder as "crazy," and leaves it at that. Just take an example of those people who are battling with depression. They are not like injuries that you can see and it will heal itself by time. Because of society always likes to label everyone, people with depression sometimes have no idea where to go or to whom, especially when they don't want to go to the psychiatrist, even though they know they need help and they need someone to cope. 

• Our disturbing obsession with having electronic devices on us at all times. Here's a general example of things go these days, socially:

1. Invite someone to dinner on facebook, exchange numbers if you haven't already. 
2. Text about said dinner plans.
3. Get direction to dinner plans with phone app.  
4. Arrive, talk, take pictures of dinner with phone. 
5. Search Instagram for the filter that best compliments your aesthetically pleasing sushi dinner. 
6. Narrow down to top 4 filters. 
7. Narrow down to top 3 filters.
8. Narrow down to top 2 filters. 
9. Select THE filter. 
10. Continue with dinner, checking phone every time you're notified of someone else who liked the photo.

We have allowed this to become a norm, but it wouldn't hurt us to at least have some respect for each other and just enjoy the moment being shared with a person, rather than try to capture it in a still frame and make it look pretty. I mean, I sometimes took pictures of My friends and I and put it on Path/Instagram, but still it kinda true. 

• Young people with thoughts and opinions on stuff. No, teenagers (that also include myself) haven't lived long enough to grasp everything that they'll learn by the time they're 50, but whatever. I mean, sure it was only a handful of years ago that they were watching educational cartoons and learning multiplication tables, but why not listen to their theories and sentiments? Matter of fact, perhaps their less defeated, corrupted minds are what we need for a change in perspective. For starters, take baby steps by trying not to brush Jaden Smith's tweets off without considering that he's actually saying something meaningful. 

I Should Just Stop Tweeting, The Human Consciousness Must Raise Before I Speak My Juvenile Philosophy. Shouts Out To @TIME
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) October 5, 2013

• Beliefs (or no beliefs). While it'll always be much less work to dismiss than to try to understand, why is it that if you don't share the same system or agree with a person it's automatically time to mock and/or reject the things they're saying? Listen and form an opinion or don't, but remember that disagreeing doesn't mean dismissing, and there are ways to have a constructive conversation while refraining from insulting a non-believer or believer's intelligence. 
• Racism. It's a universal problem and it's very alive. 
• Sexism. It's a universal problem and it's very alive.  
• Homophobia. It's a universal problem and it's very alive.  
• Your own thoughts. When you really think about it we're all here existing and big picture, we're equally clueless. Yes, one person can have more information stuffed into their brain than the next, but too often we don't trust our own human instincts, gut feelings, conscience and inner self. We're often influenced by others, peeking our heads out to see what everybody else is doing despite the fact that nobody has all the answers and following suit is a killer of creativity and individuality. When your brain has those distinct, rare thoughts you've got to embrace 'em. Tossing your own nuggets of brilliance to the side is a habit that can turn into a dismal, copycat lifestyle if you're not careful.

So, that is all for today!

Cynthia Clara,

xxx

The way WE deal with haters

Do you know the sentiment "if you have haters, you must be doing something right"? Oh I bet you do. You might even said it yourself once too many time.

All of us have different ways to cope with everything. As example, with grief, break ups, violence including how to deal with haters. And we sometimes try to ignore all the hates people gave us by saying those exact words. But for real, not all of you who have haters actually doing something right. Some of you might actually doing something REALLY wrong, until you actually caught their attention even just once and making them really annoyed.

And know that there is two kind of haters, those who are actually your haters, those who without realising it that they hate you because they actually envy you, simply because you're happier or because of your hot bod or hot guy friends or boyfriend that you have, etc. and there are those who are just so fed up with your so called attitude. The second one could even be your closest friends and no, they are not jealous or envy of you, they just sick and tired with you.

I have this friend that always lied about everything. And her lies just keeps piling up, until one day I got so fed up and stop talking to her completely and even deleted her on every social media that I have. I started talking to her again a couple of months ago when I got back to Indonesia and we're friends again even though she didn't know the real reason why I deleted her on every social media is because I'm so sick of her lies. Everytime she asked me when I'm free so we can hang out again "like the old times" I keep saying that I'll get back to her when I am but I never did. (If you read my blog, and know that I was referring you, no offence)

What I'm saying is, not everyone that hates you really is your haters, and not everyone that hates you envy you. And its totally not always because you're doing something right, you could just be doing something really wrong to make that person hates you.

I know that is the way how we deal with haters sometimes, but for real you might need to stop doing that, 'cause its really annoying. Like for real. I mean, can't you just ignore them instead of saying those things to them? I know they sometimes could get real mean and even get really annoying. But hey, I'm just saying.

Cynthia Clara,

xxx