Monday, July 21, 2014

What is happiness? Why all we, well I, talk about is happiness and.. love? Why?

I just finished reading middlesex, and now I'm reading a book by Paul Coelho. As I was reading it, page by page, one of his character said, "No one taught me how to love either, but I loved God, loved my husband, I loved my son and my family. And yet still there is something missing," I don't know what or why, but somehow I can relate to most things that he said in this book. I was never taught how to love, but I believe that someone did loved me and showed me what love is. I maybe grow very cynical about love that it making it harder for me to remember how it felt like. How being loved felt like. And it feel as if I can't feel and I can't be content until I remember.

But isn't love composed of ecstasy and agony? We all seek happiness, and when being asked, what is happiness, most people may not say it but deep down they will think of "love." But really, what is happiness? 

If love is the answer, why is it so hard for us to find true love? Why is it that some people have to think twice to give love and not think at all when giving other peoples pain? People are so busy going to the war and thinking about the war, they forgot why they are there or why their minds are there. We are so scared when it comes to love but its very easy to when it comes to.... "hate." What is it about us? We all are seeking for love, for happiness, we want it for free. Yet it even so hard for us to give love, as if it worth the moon. Yes, love is as beautiful as the moon, but doesn't mean that it have to cost you like buying a trip ticket to the moon. 

Maybe its a constant state of anxiety, but isn't it supposed to be worth the pain? But I guess it pretty selfish of us to ask for people to love us and so their love will save us from our melancholy state and liberate us from our pain. It also feel selfish to ask too much from love, when we can't even give that to someone. When we can't even give that to ourselves.

I guess its true there are people, who loves you with their whole heart, yet you can't feel it, because they simply don't know how to show it and I guess I'm one of them. But you know what, its okay to be cynical about love from time to time, but finding happiness and love is not as hard as we thought. All we have to do is find love from within, and love will arrive in your front door in a blink of an eye (well, this is just a metaphor). All I'm saying is that, I guess we just have to believe. Believe in humanity, believe in love and believe in ourselves. Well maybe it is hard, but the hope of making the best of everything that comes our way and just feel grateful, and the hope of falling in love again, with someone who deserves you is the closest big thing you get. 

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