THE UNEXPECTED

A very unexpected thing happened this week. I never thought I would feel like this but yes, right now, I am happy.

I thought this day would never come, but I just did what I felt like one of the bravest thing I've ever did. And that is, taking risk on love. The respond was also good. I had a very intense conversation with him (((if you've been following my blog these last couple of months, yes, I am talking about the same person who has been making me feel like a burrito of sadness))), I never thought that we finally clear things up and we both wants to take a chance to just explore whatever it is that we had....have.


Even though I was in a constant battle with my mind, this morning. Numerous sublime questions emerge, from asking myself if I was too naive, or if I was too desperate to get the taste of love, or "Do I really like this person? Or do I really just love the thought of liking, or even loving him?" and "Are we confusing lust with love?" then the most crazy question just popped into my head saying, "Should I just walk away while I still can?"

Yes, it truly is a manifestation of a chaos mind.

But then, when I saw him again and for a couple of seconds we shared this moment, where only the two of us understand and by looking each other, its like we both know what was going on inside our heads and then we just laughed. That is when, I was sure that it wasn't just loving the thought of liking him or the thrill of the chase, at least for me, my feelings are real and I really do like him. Lets just hope that he feels the same way.

It was really though, a very unexpected thing. Was all started because of this book that I read, The Witch of The Portobello. I was very fickle about greeting him and talking to him again, but I just had this gut feeling telling me to just talk to him, I wasn't gonna do it, but as I read the book page by page, one of the character said, "Don't wait to be certain before you take a step." That was all it took to helped me find the courage to just talk to him again, and thank God I did. We talked things out and here we are.

Maybe its true, if you love someone, you have to tell them. Even if you're scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it out loud, and you go from there. But love doesn't need love back to exist, love simply is. So when you love someone, it could also mean letting that person go, so they could be happy with someone else. But most important thing is that, if you truly love that person, you will fight like hell for them, not just telling her nice things or sweet things. Because if you want that person enough, they will be worth fighting for. But if the timing wasn't right, maybe you should just let it go, because I always believe that if you give love, you will eventually get love back. Love will always find a way, and things will work out better. In other words, what goes around comes back around. And just like what Paul Coelho said in his book, " "Does he love me?" "You're asking the wrong question. What you need to know is are you in a position to give him the love he needs. And whatever happens or doesn't happen will be equally gratifying. Knowing that you're capable of love is enough. If it isn't him, it will be someone else. You've discovered a wellspring; simply allow it to flow and it will fill your world. Don't try to keep a safe distance so as to see what happens. Don't wait to be certain before you take a step. What you give, you will receive, although it might sometimes come from a place you least expect." "

Hands up, because truly, I couldn't agree more with him. It was already a pleasure of mine to love, or like (((whatever))) someone, because I didn't know if I was capable of that or not, but feeling that my feelings are being well responded, also feels good because not only that I was, I am, capable of giving love, but also receiving it hence feeling it. This week turns out pretty good, and I have to thank my intuition and that book and him and myself, for it.


The moral to this story is that, never stop believing and never stop fighting for what you want and for someone that you love. But simply if it includes another person, you shouldn't force it, because you see it yourself, my luck on love isn't so bad after all. Maybe yours aren't as well, everything just takes times.