Uncertainty

I dreamt about him a couple of nights ago and I can't seem to stop thinking about him again.

Its been so long since the last time I thought about him. I suddenly just dreamt about him.

Is it odd that every time this sort of thing happen, I always thought that he was thinking about me? I always thought that he misses me?

I was supposed to be asleep by now, but I miss him so much, it hurts. Its so hard to get him out of my mind. I wish to talk to him, to touch him, to hug him again, to feel his warm breath on my shoulder while he hugged me. Hugging me so tight, I can feel the warmth and the weight of his body on mine. And it was his way of saying how much he misses me.

Sometimes my dream of him was so vivid, it felt as if I really did touched him. I can even smell his scent. Is it odd to miss someone this much? It feels strange because it felt as if I imagine thing to help myself coping and from going to that dark place.

This is so not the right time to miss him. So many things to do, but he'll still be on my mind.

What does this mean? Do I really miss him that much?

Why can't miracle just happen, and he could just suddenly talk to me again. Like he used to. To tell me that he misses me.

Its true, love + me = infinite complication. Plus, I have zero luck on love, and I'm just wasting my time thinking about him, wishing to talk to him, like we used to. To feel his lips on my cheek. He have this sweet and warm personality, I find out that somehow he only show that side of him to me.

Its true that you can't help it who you falling in love with and you took someone for granted, only regretting doing that when they're gone.

Love. What the hell is love anyway? What do I know about love?
All I know about love is that you can't really rely on love. There is no such thing as certainty when it comes to love. I know that I always talk about taking risks, but what's the point of it all?

Someone that you love very much can just be there one minute, and gone the next. And they ask me to believe in love? How could I? Why should I? When I thought I could finally feel something, after all this time, the person who awaken those feelings just.. gone. Went away. Suddenly disappeared.

When you miss someone so much that the only thing that can make you feel good is just crying, 'cause that's the only thing that soothed you. And I guess its okay to cry. It hurts too much, so I think its okay to feel the pain. Its better the numbing those feelings. 'Cause once you numbed them, you won't get it back, and if you do, it will be long after that. Trust me, I know. And when you miss someone so much, something from the centre of your chest felt like has been ripped out of by someone. Making such a big hole, all you can feel is the pain and the emptiness. Without saying anything, that person left bringing that "something" with them. You can feel the hole. The hole is so big, loneliness got the best of you.

Uncertainty. That's the only thing that is certain about love.
But what do I know about love? As far as I know, all I know enough about is just pain.