Summer Exams

Hi there. How are you guys? Its been awhile.

Yes, I've been busy studying for the summer exams and its been crazy. The exam's only 10 days left and I'm panicking inside, but hopefully I'll do just fine, even though I'm not really so sure about that. So for those of you who also have exams this summer, good luck & wish me luck as well! 

Alright, I just want to post another website full of my photograph, and its totally different than instagram, where you post it only to get likes, which is annoying sometimes, 'cause it making you feel insecure slightly to be honest. So check it out and I hope you like it! 

I also found lots of old picture of me and I really love to share it with you guys even though I look 100% asian. But its okay!!! 

Problems Only Book Nerds Understand

Does anyone here like to read books? Are you a big book nerd? Yeah, then we're in the same gang. Lol.

I started reading chick flick since I was in 3rd grade, but so far I think I've only read about 90 books, more or less, and I feel a bit disappointed at myself, does anyone feeling the same thing as me? If yes, that is okay, i think. We'll find the time for that, hopefully. And sometimes my problem isn't only that I don't have all the time in the world, but it also that, when I started reading books like literature, I just realized at some point that all I want to read is something that actually mean something or that is challenging to me or something that kinda related to my life, like psychology book etc. But then when you started reading psychology book (for fun) or something in that area, people started asking question if you're alright and keep asking, "why are reading a book about depression (or something)? are you depressed?"and you don't what to say, so you just look at them and say, "I'm fine. I'm just reading this for fun." But sometimes, deep down you know you actually read those book not only for the knowledge and the "fun", but actually because you ARE feeling depressed (for example.) and so you sometimes think yourself as a big, giant weirdo because sometimes the only thing that can help you cope in life is not by going to a shrink or go to your friend or family, but simply reading a book(s).

Well, that was just me anyway, I don't know about you guys, but its really interesting how I like being called as a book nerd or telling people how I really love read books and I think I'm loving it a bit too much. And for me, sometimes why all I want to do is just escape in my own fantasy and read a book is because sometimes I think that people are unreliable and sometimes leaves me having more problem than I was before and even giving you any solution.

Alright, alright. I think I need to tell you a bit the reason why I started writing this post; well its just because i've just finished reading one of the article in BuzzFeed about problems that book nerds are having. So if you want to read the article, well you can go to my facebook profile or go to BuzzFeed website. (yes, I am too lazy to write down the URL.)

So, this is I think are sometimes the problems only book nerds, (note: and not just potterhead), will
understand:

1: Shouting or expressing too much emotion at your book during a surprising twist and realize you're in a crowded Starbuck/bus/subway car.

2: You feel like smacking someone in the face with the book you're currently holding and reading because they can't stop talking to you when its so clear that you want to be left alone with your book. And ended up stop reading the book or probably you just snap and started screaming at their face.

3: Feeling so pissed off at someone who give you a spoiler about what will happen in the book that you will hate that person until you finished reading the book.

4: You want to read so many books but you don't have the time and the money or sometimes you simply just want to buy them when you know there are still so many unread books at home and one day you just snap out of it and do anything to buy at least one book. (Yeah, I guess we're a shopaholic. But not on clothes but simply in books. And you feel crazy because you acting like an addict. But its okay, I guess, as long you read the unread books at home, then you don't really have that a big of a problem).

5: That sad depressed feeling when you see half a dozen hardcovers of a once bestseller filling up the used book $0.25 bin. Especially when you spend $25 and waited in line for hours for that one. (But I don't think you'll feel this way if you buy them online).

6: When you took hours to decide which book you want to buy first, 'cause you know if you buy two or more books at the same time, one of them won't be touch for day, maybe weeks, or maybe months or years, but when you finally decided to buy the first book, then you've just finished paying for it, on the way out, you see the book (you think) you want more than the one you just buy. That feeling. The most annoying feeling, ever.

7: When there is a movie based on the book you've already read, and if you really like it, you probably get really pissed because they kinda change the plot a little bit in the movie and its nice as good as the book. But you get really excited if you know the movie will be as good as the movie. And you get really pissed of or excited and happy and you can't stop talking and comparing the movie with the book to ANYONE.

I guess I can write more, but there are just too much and I'm TOO lazy to think anything else, so that is all for not. Maybe, just maybe, if I think about something else I will add it up, but that is for now.

And speaking about books, check my goodreads website: My goodreads profile and if you like my reading list and want any recommendation about books you want to read, you can ask me through ask.fm/facebook/twitter. and the link is on the right side of my blog.

I'd really love to give a book recommendation to read and I'd love to get one from you guys.

So thank you for reading my blog.
Cynthia Clara,
xxx

What I Wear!

Hi! How are you guys? I've been so busy studying, and actually experiencing real life, instead of blogging the last couple of weeks, so yeah :p 

last weekend I went to Galeri Nasional in South Jakarta. But the exhibition that we really want to see was ended the week before, so yeah, bummer!! But I really enjoy it, and when we just got there, there is an intern journalist that was asking for picture of us. (well its actually our style. neh.) And here is mine:

What I Wear!


Have a great week, 'cause mine will be super tiring, lots and lots of studying! So talk to you soon!
Cynthia Clara,
xxx

Living abroad

When you live abroad, there are reasons why you chose to move; its either for education reason, or it might be because you want to escape or find a new or different atmosphere. 

But when you finally did it, all you feel is excitement and fear. And probably sadness. Well the sad part is very obvious, because when you live abroad, you probably have to leave your family and your best friends. But the fear part is that you might be afraid if you can't find friends there etc. But you also soothed by the idea of having a new atmosphere. You feel excited because in your new home, no one knows you, and you can be whoever you want. You totally have a clean slate, and some people find this very comforting. 

If you live or wanting to live abroad, this might happen to you or crossed your mind at some point:

You started thinking, its been ages since you stayed in your hometown for more than two months, life has gone without you. One day, you simply look back and realize that so much has happened in your absence, that so much has changed. Everybody is already getting used to it living without you. 

And at some point you also might think and felt like you get left behind, but have you ever think that you're the one leaving everyone behind? 

Positive or negative; its all depends on you how you want to see it. 

Cynthia Clara, 

xxx

Soldier On

So my friend tiba2 sent me a bunch of links of blogs, berisi dengan poetry. There are so many poets that I like but this is totally my favourite.

"I'm used to
shattering,
but I'm pretty sure
that at some point
soldiers got used
to the war.

I become an expert
at putting pieces
back together,
but I'm pretty sure
that soldiers
became experts
at wrapping wounds.

You get used to pain,
you get used to routine,
sometimes you get used
to breaking yourself
into pieces so small
that you seem to cease
to exist.

Soldiers get used
to aiming shots,
they get used
to hiding in trenches,
to sleeping in tents
to living without
their loved ones.

There is a difference
between getting used to
and enjoying,
between getting used to
and what is right,
between being numb
and getting used to."

Soldier On.
Julia Pollacco

Cynthia Clara,

xxx

The Poetry Revolutionary - Soldier On

Things That I Think Are Interesting (And I Thought You Should Know It As Well).

First, I just want to tell you guys that I'm going to start re-posting some of the posts from Thought Catalog and maybe from another website, where I think its a really good post or kinda interesting. So here is the first one:

These came from different posts, and which I think is just sooo true or its happening a lot nowadays.

1. Being upset about something that warrants an emotional response. You don't have to apologize for something or acting out on it if its real to you. The people who judge your for being a human being, and not being ultimately demure and emotionless and in your place, are the ones who need to apologize.
2. Moving for a relationship if one if invested and ready... or just putting a relationship first if its a healthy and happy thing or something you want/need to work on. There's a big difference between being dismissive and walked on and stepping up and taking part as an equal in a relationship, a role that usually requires compromising and effort.
3. For those girls, who wore too much makeup, this is for you: more makeup doesn't mean more beautiful. More makeup means you look like you put more makeup on. It's not to say that I think girls should only wear a certain amount of makeup, it's just to say that there are some girls who will not leave the house without a full face of foundation, concealer, contouring and a smokey eye and I think it kind of wanes on their quality of life. Even though its your face and you can do whatever the hell you want, but I mean come on. 
4. You should never be at the whim of your partner's will because you are a woman, and if you are, it's your duty to stand up for yourself and other women until we live in a culture where that isn't an issue
5. You never have to be ashamed of what you look like. People will always have their opinions, so its up to you whether or not you want to listen to them, and act on them. Most often, the only person who is telling you that you look awful is yourself. People who love you won't care about that kind of stuff.
6. Nobody is looking to date a girl who doesn't respect herself. So yes, you girls, please do have some respect of yourself, especially of your body.
7. If you want to impress someone, talk about something of substance. People will be taken by you for displaying who you are by your words and actions more than how you present yourself aesthetically
8. The absolute most attractive thing a girl can do and be is confident.
9. Your sexuality is yours, and yours alone, and you are in charge of it, and if that is violated, you are not at fault. At the same time, you are entitled to express yourself healthfully in that way, and you don't have to make excuses for it, nor do you have to hide or be embarrassed of it.
10. One of the hardest things to do is to look our demons straight in the face and admit their existence to ourselves. Stand in front of the mirror, by yourself, and tell yourself what you are afraid of, what you regret, what you're ashamed of. It might be unpleasant and somewhat terrifying because when we say things out loud, they become real. (You might also feel ridiculous and think all the same that you regret/afraid/ashamed of are ridiculous, 'cause I do) But this is a good thing, because once you've identified your inner turmoil, you can begin to alleviate it. We cannot fight off phantoms. Make them real, and then kick their ass.
11. Our comfort zone is pleasant, but it doesn't challenge us; it doesn't make us grow or learn or improve. It doesn't make us strong. Since this is a new year, why don't we make a new experience that will impact us the most and stuck with us the longest by forcing ourself to do things outside our comfort zone? (I'll try anyway! ;p)
12. This is far the one that I really like, 'cause I never like doing it myself; when you hold a grudge, you're the one carrying that weight. Let anger thaw.
13. Accept the process of distinguishing between your flaws and your imperfection. Figure out what areas of your life you need and want to work on, and which shortcomings are as much an inherent part of you as your best qualities. It is fruitless and disheartening to attempt to change the latter, while working on the first is gratifying both in process and outcome.
14. Make improvement less daunting. If you see a goal you wish to achieve on the horizon, set benchmarks for yourself. Achievement and improvement is not all or nothing - It is a growth process, and likely one that will at times be tiring and seemingly impossible. You can do a lot to combat the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy if you yourself reasonable, smaller goals to reach along the way. Even the grandest plans require small steps. Love the journey - you'll end up gaining so much more than just the satisfaction of reaching your ultimate goal.

These will be the things everyone should stop dismissing:

• Mental illness as "crazy." This is probably the worst thing you can do to somebody who's having a battle from within. Logically we'd see the issue, assess it and try to make it better - not glare at it, shake your head and call it names.

It can be disappointing to see how often society sums up a person's struggle with mental disorder as "crazy," and leaves it at that. Just take an example of those people who are battling with depression. They are not like injuries that you can see and it will heal itself by time. Because of society always likes to label everyone, people with depression sometimes have no idea where to go or to whom, especially when they don't want to go to the psychiatrist, even though they know they need help and they need someone to cope. 

• Our disturbing obsession with having electronic devices on us at all times. Here's a general example of things go these days, socially:

1. Invite someone to dinner on facebook, exchange numbers if you haven't already. 
2. Text about said dinner plans.
3. Get direction to dinner plans with phone app.  
4. Arrive, talk, take pictures of dinner with phone. 
5. Search Instagram for the filter that best compliments your aesthetically pleasing sushi dinner. 
6. Narrow down to top 4 filters. 
7. Narrow down to top 3 filters.
8. Narrow down to top 2 filters. 
9. Select THE filter. 
10. Continue with dinner, checking phone every time you're notified of someone else who liked the photo.

We have allowed this to become a norm, but it wouldn't hurt us to at least have some respect for each other and just enjoy the moment being shared with a person, rather than try to capture it in a still frame and make it look pretty. I mean, I sometimes took pictures of My friends and I and put it on Path/Instagram, but still it kinda true. 

• Young people with thoughts and opinions on stuff. No, teenagers (that also include myself) haven't lived long enough to grasp everything that they'll learn by the time they're 50, but whatever. I mean, sure it was only a handful of years ago that they were watching educational cartoons and learning multiplication tables, but why not listen to their theories and sentiments? Matter of fact, perhaps their less defeated, corrupted minds are what we need for a change in perspective. For starters, take baby steps by trying not to brush Jaden Smith's tweets off without considering that he's actually saying something meaningful. 

I Should Just Stop Tweeting, The Human Consciousness Must Raise Before I Speak My Juvenile Philosophy. Shouts Out To @TIME
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) October 5, 2013

• Beliefs (or no beliefs). While it'll always be much less work to dismiss than to try to understand, why is it that if you don't share the same system or agree with a person it's automatically time to mock and/or reject the things they're saying? Listen and form an opinion or don't, but remember that disagreeing doesn't mean dismissing, and there are ways to have a constructive conversation while refraining from insulting a non-believer or believer's intelligence. 
• Racism. It's a universal problem and it's very alive. 
• Sexism. It's a universal problem and it's very alive.  
• Homophobia. It's a universal problem and it's very alive.  
• Your own thoughts. When you really think about it we're all here existing and big picture, we're equally clueless. Yes, one person can have more information stuffed into their brain than the next, but too often we don't trust our own human instincts, gut feelings, conscience and inner self. We're often influenced by others, peeking our heads out to see what everybody else is doing despite the fact that nobody has all the answers and following suit is a killer of creativity and individuality. When your brain has those distinct, rare thoughts you've got to embrace 'em. Tossing your own nuggets of brilliance to the side is a habit that can turn into a dismal, copycat lifestyle if you're not careful.

So, that is all for today!

Cynthia Clara,

xxx