I LOVE YOU, S.

"how can we make sense of all of this?

will this ever make sense?

or will the pain just simply going to fade but the world still makes no sense?" 

All of this feel too surreal. all I can feel is just this ache that covers me from head to toe, it physically hurt so fucking bad. Its like one big fucking joke, yet no one is laughing. I can't be alone, can't even sleep on my own in my own room. Its too hard to accept one of the strongest person that I know is gone. I can't bear being alone with my own thoughts, I kept seeing your face every time I close my eyes. Its all too much. And I keep having this feeling that you'd showed up, all well and smiling and making some inappropriate jokes with that raspy voice of yours and you'll play with my chubby cheeks and you'll try to bite it. Or when I showed up to your house, you'll be there, reading manga from your laptop or reading comics or some Japanese, grotesque novels. 

Though I didn't spend that much time with you like we used to, too busy with my study and moving back and forth, I hope you know it in your heart that I cherish you and every moment that I spend with you. The absence of your presence will create one of the biggest hole in our hearts.

You were one of my best friends, and I don't even know what we're going to do without you. I don't know what I am going to do without you. But I won't discredit your genuine, loving heart and soul by writing about something selfish,

So to my dearest friend, Shera.

I love you, we all do. I hope you know that when you took your last breath.

No words can't even begin to describe how much that I love you, and how much I will miss you, and how much your presence in my life has brought me so many joy and blessings and I honestly can't thank you enough for all the things you did or didn't or said or never said to me, for you know me well than most people do and you know how to be a great friend, because you are. The best of the best.

I hope you'll meet people with bigger and chubbier cheeks ya, biar bisa lo gigitin smp puas; mine will always miss your bites. (Not really, it hurts but I'll miss you too much, already do and you're the only one that can bite it. I love you)

And I hope you are enjoying the greatest heaven that Allah has ever created, the best of the best, and I hope my Dad will take care of you so you won't be alone and scared and tired no more.

I will always wish you well walaupun sudah di akhirat, Sher. And I know our words can't do you justice. You're so much better, more than what we could ever say or write. Dan udah yah, sakit nya udah selesai, yang tenang Sher.

One day we'll see each other again. But for now, I hope you rest in peace, my love. 

Inalillahiwainnailallhirajiun..

Sincerely, 

Everyone that loves you.