WISHING FOR A BETTER DAY(S)

When you're home but it doesn't feel like home, it feels instead like an abandoned house. 

Hello, how are you? Haven't wrote any post in awhile as I was on a vacation for two weeks and was also so busy with work before that. I was ALSO taking a break from writing as I felt like all the things that I wrote are filled with prosaic words and I don't want to waste any words. I don't want to write things or say things that I can't feel, and mean nothing to me. I don't want the things that I say or write turn into simply a noise; a white noise; an empty words. 

But I'm back now. I'm home. But it no longer feels like home. I don't feel like I'm home. 

Well, I do feel like I'm at home, but things aren't the same. Too much has changed already. It doesn't feel like coming back home, it only feels like coming back to a place that I always visited and come backs to. Home feels like an abandoned house; you know and you can feel that it is filled with memories but its been abandoned for awhile and now all you can feel is the feeling of being abandon. All you can feel is the trace of strong feelings you can't feel anymore.

I guess I'm adjusting again.

I guess I'm an empty vessel again.

I guess I'm trying to be okay again.

I guess I'm trying again.

I guess things should really be different now. Change for the better.

I guess I need to be better.

So much better.



The city is too pretentious and the people in it are also pretentious. I hope that this time would be better and if it doesn't I can be better so that I don't have to stay in it too long.

Let the war and struggles begin. I'll see myself at the finish line.