FEAR IS A DANGEROUS THING

I think, when it comes to life what actually scares me and a lot of people are: the future and people.
And maybe love.

Do you wanna know why?
Because those three have one thing in common: uncertainty.
When comes down to it, all we really do is actually just taking a chance and take that little step into the dark abyss of the unknown and the reason some of us couldn't do it is because either we're not ready to risk it all or we can't fake the braveness that we do not have to face the unknown.

I'm not saying I'm in denial or anything, but I think for me, I've risk everything and too much of it is lost in the process, so instead of risking everything that I have left, I've build up a wall to protect what I have left and guard it dearly. But after time, what scary is not finding someone either climbing up the wall or tearing down the wall, but it is realising that no one is doing any of that and for time to time you'll longed for something to happen or.. someone to come but mostly, you feel okay and actually relieved that no one is trying to mess with the wall you've created.

A friend of mine said, "I don't know what's wrong with you. I don't know how you can be so cold because I know you want to feel something. But why do you build up a wall so high no one can climb it? Why do you push people away? Its like you exile everyone before they can even knock on your door. Why?"

The quick answer would be: I don't know.
The long answer would be: you have to be really special to know why.

And we tend to worry too much about the future that we forget that our lives are still going and we're supposed to focus more on the present instead of the past and the future. On the other hand, people doesn't make it easier to live this struggling life that we live in. No matter how close you are with someone, I don't think that you really know them. I mean, we may only know a quarter of what their mind is thinking, but the rest of it? what the hell do we know? sometimes, they don't even know themselves what is going on inside those messy head. Sometimes, their emotions are affecting the mind making it unable to work at its best. And no matter how hard we try to profile them, we could still missed the little things they say, said, do or did.

I'm too sleepy to continue this post.................