What do you do in these kind of situation?

"All happy families are alike; each unhappy families are unhappy in its own way."   

—Leo Tolstoy

Wow.
Hello everyone, I'm sure you all know by now that I had a meltdown just about two days ago. As someone who had been going down that same path a couple of times, I have to admit, I feel pretty embarrassed about it.

I cried for hours and all those psychological creepy kind of shit that your mind make.
I guess I get why I did terribly on those exams that make me change my mind of going to medical school. I was so scared if I did get it that I might crack and I'll blew up everything. Truth is, I know I was going to crack. I know it will happen.

I hate confrontation, and I'm not very good with a high stress lifestyle. I'm not ready for that anyway since I couldn't get a control of what is going on in my head.

A girl with a LOT of baggage. Very attractive.
not. 

Anyway, as it happened again, my family isn't in a really good term. Well, I'm not really in a good term with them anyway. I wish I can just talk about everything and pour my heart out, but since its a family matter, can't really say much about it as someone who knows someone from my family might read it.

But all I can say is that, my Mother haven't been mother of the year so far. She haven't been a really good role model for.. any of us really. I know she's doing everything that she could, but.. can it erased what has been going on?
I can't even look at my little sister. I just can't look at her the same anymore. As I said, I hate confrontation, I had enough of those kind of drama in the past, I don't really need it nor I want it especially right now.

I keep on asking myself, "what should I do? What should I do to make it better without getting me into a lot of psychological crap disorder?" I guess that is why I feel so okay helping others, because of the detachment in the relationship and the more I care, the more it gets to me. (Well obviously)

So yes, now I feel paralysed by choice and make no choice. But the thing is, no choice is a choice. If you're not doing something about it, you're doing something about it. Now I'm really paralysed. 

I guess all I need is a break from everything but for now, I'm just gonna study harder and do my best. Hopefully it will worth all the pain.