HELLOOOOOOOOOOO AGAIN!!!!!!

Okay. i know this is like my second year in England, but still i somehow still could not getting used to it with me being very very geek and so nerdy.

you know what happen -- i mean we all been there -- when you dont have any boyfriend or someone (lame) all you did was spending all your time with your friends or being very anti-social and just stay at home, probably studying and focusing more on your education -- which is good, but also have a disadvantages too, as example, you will turn to be a very boring, depressing person and the next thing you know, you just can't be bothered to study and feeling like burning all your books -- and yeah, it is pretty boring. it gets even when you don't have a lot of activities to do.

Sometimes, there is just one of those days when i want to turn my life around but just don't know how. or there is just one of those days when you want more from yourself, but you're too fucked up to even think what was wrong with you. or there is just one of those days when you watch romance movies and it somehow just brings up your feelings for someone in your past, which is sucks since you're not in the same country anymore, and it gets even when they're not talking to you like you used to and.. that someone had a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Can it even get more worse than that?

i know it has been a long time since i wrote something in my blog, but really, i thought my blog was getting boring and lame, well i still think it IS though. triple lol. but here i am writing in my blog again. i guess, no matter how sucks drama is in our life, we still needed one, well the good drama anyway -- such as you know, boys drama -- cuz without it, look what i have become, pretty much a depressing, boring person.

I don't know what i want anymore or what i needed. i pretty much giving up trying. I, well sort of, gave up trying to get thin and tall. Then i gave up studying, next week is going to be exams week, i mean its just a mock, but if i didn't study it is kinda like screwing up my GCSE but eff-- studying. Especially music, its confusing as hell.

Well anyway I still know what i want, I just don't know if i still could keep up with all of the stuff that i have to do to get it. and life will always goes on, so i couldn't really wasting my time not doing anything, God I'm such a big thinker, I know.

hm, btw my bday's coming up (no one care cynth) lol, and since my sister sort of already gave me my pre-gift bday (it was the xx ticket's concert) and i was thinking about selling it again for michael buble. haa i know you guys probably think like "what the hell" or something, its just that i like Buble more than the xx, just saying hahaha.

anyway, got to go, bye!

Lots of love, 

Cynthia Clara, xxx