Rest in Peace, Daddy ♥

Dad. in entire of my existence i never not proud, inspired and loving someone that i called, Dad. he always been the one that i turn to when i need someone. he's always been the one who show me that there is going to be a gentlemen for all of us who is not afraid for getting hurt. he's always been the one who makes me not afraid and loving something that i hate to do. he's always been the one who makes me proud of my self. he's always been the one who never insult or get mad for something that i do or make instead, he complement it and said to my mum and the rest family that i just make something that is good and make him proud even its not really that good.

i never thought he's going to passed away this fast (for me). the next day when i realised that he's gone for real, i just feel so lost in this big world. I tried to be strong, I tried not cry, but all i can feel is the heaviest thing that I ever carried on my chest. the heaviest thing that I feel in my throat, and the next thing i know, all I could is just cry. especially when I'm alone or in the middle of the night. All I can think is that the possibility to see my dad alive if we don't move to england and things like that. I still can't believe he's gone, from all of us, forever. its not like he leave us for some stupid work or holiday but he really leave us for another life up there. its hard for not having someone who has been the one who always sees the good in you and never the worst in you. i hate to see someone who is kind, patient, loving, caring, nice, optimistic person always gone and leave this fast. i don't know how my life going to be without him, its going to be as empty as a broke shells in the sea.. i can't wish for a better dad. a person like that can never be replace.

and in this moment, i only can say how disappointing 2011 in the end, its just overly painful. and how slow 2012 is. I guess ambil hikmah nya aja right? I can see who I can call as good friends, it showed me who really cared, it showed me who I can always count on.

but now i only can say that its good to see him rest in peace and not suffering from any sickness. and i only can say that how nice and sweet of you guys for the prayer and bbm and other stuff, my family and i really appreciate it. and in this moment, you guys can learn, maybe its time to show your love to your family, especially the one who is sometimes can be extremely annoying, that we called as parents. you never know what you had until its gone. i honestly didn't know that my dad will passed away, i believe that he's strong enough to fight his sickness, i haven't say sorry for everything that i said and do to him. but i know even i haven't say sorry and make him proud yet, he always love me and know how sorry i am and always been proud of me.

don't waste something or someone, you never know when they will gone for forever. saying sorry and i love you to them isn't that hard, so go to them and say that to them and just hug them and they won't ask you what do you want, they just know that you mean it.

p.s.: if you want to say it to someone that you love such as boyfriend or girlfriend or still your crush, don't.. unless they're worth it and deserve it :)

Thank you for reading my blog and may Dad Rest in Peace ♥